Tuesday news

As I said in my previous post, i think I am planning to use this as my daily journal to record the events that are happening in our lives at the moment.

Well yesterday we got confirmation that stew definately has cancer again. We just need to see an oncologist to get more accurate information but yesterday was taken up with telling the kids, the family and our wonderful friends (our family our wonderful). The support from everyone has been overwhelming, in fact so overwhelming that it is making me very tearful (now I wonder why that is!!!).

The kids have been brilliant, well Gemma just listened,I think she understood daddy is poorly but nothing more, Alex has been through this before with us so is more understanding but I don't think it sunk in yet and my poor Jamie, having decided to resit Year 12, yesterday was a tough enough day for him and then to come home last night after the Leeds match (they won!!) to be told the news must have been devasting. But you know, he is an amazing young man who held it all together and even managed to have a joke. We will see what effect this has on them all over the next few weeks.

As for stew and I, well I am not sure stewart has really taken it in, he is either very high or very low and i am really struggling to hold it all together for him. I feel like i want to cry and cry and cry but know that i can't.

Last night, stew wasn't good with his stomach again (supposedly it was the tablets he was taking for his neck pain) but i have this sick feeling that it is connected but am too scared to say anything. He has gone back to bed and I now feel like a complete cow that I have to go back to work today. I may have to shut the office early if he continues to be unwell. I need to speak to one of the bosses to help me through this - I just hope they are supportive. It's just another thing on the list of to do things I am running up. I have to speak to both schools and fill them in and then face work and all that goes there. So, i'm taking a deep breath and going to take one day at a time (oh, and my shoulder is killing me again!!!).

Sorry that this is so depressing, I don't think I am writing this for you to follow but for me so I apologise for anyone who has clicked on here to look at scrapping stuff.