Ok, here's the latest update. Rang hospital at 7.20am this morning (having been unsettled all night - knew something wasn't right) to be told he had been in serious pain last night and rushed for an xray at 3am. They couldn't get the pain under control and now think he has pancreatitis (sp?).
Why oh why didn't they call me, I am so annoyed that if he had needed an emergency operation I wouldn't have had chance to see him.
Anyway I dressed Gemma and dropped her at my friends and flew down. Within about 2 hours he was a lot better and more comfortable. Palliative care came to visit - very interesting and scary all at once but yippee he has had a pump thingy put in so that he gets continuous pain relief that can be topped up with injections whilst they work out the strength needed. He is a different person (well, actually he's the same person but with a bit of a sense of humour and a smile and a cuddle for me :D). He's very tired but is being less retisent about asking for pain relief.
What they have suggested is that he may want to go into our local hospice instead of hospital (well it's 5 minutes away from home, available to visit all hours and private room) if the pain relief needs altering and then he can come home again. He has, understandably, mixed reactions but think he may go in before coming home so that knows it isn't permanent (if that makes sense).
However because that is a huge possibility, I have needed to talk to Jamie tonight about the facts and what is happening, and bless him I think he realises the true extent of what we are dealing with. It really hit him all the things his dad won't be here for (graduation possibly, his wedding, his first child - I haven't even mentioned his 18th) but he now understands the situation. He got angry and then he cried and all I could do was hold him and cry with him. That has to be the hardest evening I have ever had, just hope it was the right thing to do. However, we are not looking at the end of the story, we are now focused on the bit up till then and on making it absolutely fantastic (see even I can do optomism :lol:).
Once again thanks for your kind thoughts, words with whoever you speak to up there (I'm not proud, anyone that gets us the result we want will be gratefully thanked) and all the love you send.
Now I'm off to actually have something to eat (well a box of jaffa cakes cannot possibly be termed food :lol:) and then my friends popping in for coffee.
13 comments:
Susy
My prayers & thoughts are with you & your family.
Take care
Denise xx
Susy, just wanted to send you a massive hug xxx
Just to say you remain in my thoughts and prayers. Fingers crossed he remains comfortable on his pump. A short spell in the hospice may help to stabilise the situation (ever changing as it is) and they you would feel more confident if he came home. I'm a GP and I see so many folks who are very apprehensive about 'hospices' but are so relieved when they actually use the services. Because of space / time / money etc etc hospitals are sometimes limited in how much 'caring' they can do, hospices have the opportunity to take a more holistic view. Strangely (or perhaps not) hospices are generally peaceful and pretty happy places, despite the sadness at times - and I have experience of adult and children's hospices.
Don't forget to look after yourself, remember to eat, try to sleep. Don't worry too much about you diet for a few days - it is possible to survive on jaffa cakes, it's just not healthy after a while! Feel free to PM me if you wish.
Susy
sending you hugs and letting you know we are thinking of you all
Hxxx
I cant begin to imagine how you must be feeling but think that the inner strength you are finding is amazing. Since reading your story on UKS i have been thinking about you alot. Just wish I had a magic power to make things better. Its been a long time since I ever came across anyone that ever deserved a miracle more than you do. Much Love Jo xx
Hi Susy, the hospice for Stew sounds a better short term option.They know how to care and your not just a number.They treat you as a human being and yes they are normally peaceful happy places with great support. Once Stew is settled in I think you'll feel more settled and relaxed about your situation. Love to you all Janina xxx
Sending hugs to you all,
Sally xx
Big hugs from us too.)Mr & Mrs Hedgehog) You are all in our thoughts. Keep your chin up sweetheart you know where we are. Lx
Oh dear, how cruel life can be.
I will add him into my prayers and I hope our good thoughts help you and your family stay strong.
Skye
thinking of ya xx
Hey - aren't Jaffa cakes almost classed as a fruit - they have orange in them :) :) There's so little any of us can do to help but hopefully you can draw some comfort from knowing we are all thinking of you and praying too for you all xx
sending you hugs and kisses.
x
OMG I have just found your blog & read though with tears in my eyes - I dont know what to say to you but just wanted to send some {{{HUGS}}} & xxx xxx xxx
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