Thursday, 18 September 2008

A better day


Well, Wednesday came and I rang the hospital and Stewart had had a better night, only having three extra injections to get him through (he'd had six the night before).

However, we all overslept and although Alex managed to get up in time to get the bus to school. Jamie didn't which after the night before probably wasn't a bad thing.

I went down to the hospital to meet with Ash again who was again amazing. She has confirmed a bed at the hospice in a room of our own for Friday. Ok, it's a big step to make but I know it's the right one. We discussed various things together and Stewart was totally rational in his thinking which makes things a little easier.

He had a good day with the pain relief being increased and up to 10.30pm when I last spoke to him, he hadn't needed any extra injections which means I hope, that he has a good nights sleep.

I managed to talk to Ash privately, and she doesn't think that Stewart will go back to work again, but doesn't count it out but is being realistic. Something I am aware of but Stewart isn't ready to accept.

We have had visitors on and off all day, my parents, Jamie, my brother, my friend Debs who couldn't quite cope with seeing Stewart yet and sobbed her way through our cup of tea which we had downstairs, and then her husband Richard popped in tonight. I think it was his visit that lifted Stewart the most, he was so understanding and supportive and gave Stewart such a lift.

I have spent the day setting people off crying, everyone I spoke to cried - i really must rethink what I say to people LOL. It is so touching that so many people genuinly care for us and the kids.

we managed another quick cuddle and then I had to face coming home to tell Alex the situation (I can only handle telling them one at a time). Luckily my friend, Fiona came over from Manchester to help me with the kids and whilst she kept Gemma occupied and put her to bed (she must come and read me a bed time story cos she's brill) I spoke to Alex. I knew he'd cry but it still broke my heart and what broke my heart more was after we'd chatted and I'd answered his questions he went upstairs to take some time out and his wonderful big brother went into his room and sat with him. How amazing are my kids (bigheaded it may sound but I am genuinly so proud of them).

well, Jamie and I chatted and he thanked me for being so honest with him. I feel like a torturer to put my kids through this but I think what he said made me realise that however hard it is, that honesty is the best policy.

Having got my room back to myself tonight (Gems slept in our bed the past couple of nights) I am off to bed, I will sleep cos my eyes are closing as I type this so I bid you all good night and sleep tight.


Anonymous said...

Words fail me Suzy - I am in awe of each and every word you convey to us all. Total strangers, but I think about you all so often.
In time, I think you need to publish your account, as I think it would give grest strength to others going through something similar.
Sally - A Bradford lass.

hotpotato said...

Hi Susy,I'm checking your blog every day now to see how you, the children and Stewart are.I'm glad to hear Stewart's pain relief has now been sorted and that he will be off to the hospice on Friday. Yes kids are amazing and yes it is best to be honest with them in the language they can understand in the kind of situation you now find yourselves in.You're not being big headed you just a very proud mum. Love to you all give them kids and Stewart a big HUG from us all and while you're doing that ask them to hug you from us too....Love Janina xx

Hils said...

Suzy - You are so together - it must be an auto pilot we go into then dealing with stuff like this. I am reading your blog and remembering my mum. It is all very similar. Be honest and upfront with your kids it makes it easier for them long term. My mum told us what was happening with her and at the time is was shocking but long term I am glad. You are going great and are so brave. Hx

Mrs Hedgehog said...

More Hugs to you all. Unless you want a bit of abuse and I'm sure I could oblige
(Please don't anyone take offence at that comment Susy knows exactly what I mean)
Thinking of you all, really glad you have had 2 long cuddles lucky girl.
Love you Lx

Toni Hammond said...

My heart goes out to you all. I sit here cursing the year that I have had and what more can be thrown at me and I read your Blog and I wish that I could just throw my arms around you and take all of the hurt away and make things better. You can be so proud of the way you and Stewart have brought your kids up to be dealing with this in the way that they are. Sending you Hugs, Love and all of my Strength to deal with the coming months........ Love Toni H

Anonymous said...


I think you deserve an award for the way you are coping with everything that is being slung your way at the moment and you still manage to update your bog too. If I lived nearer I would award you a big big hug and the biggest chocolate bar I could find.

Love always


Lou said...

Hi Suzy

I am so pleased that Stewart is getting the right level of pain relief. That must be such a comfort to you.

And you are getting some time together too which will be comforting him too.

Your kids and family and friends sound great and I am so pleased that you are getting the support from Stewart's Doctors.

Thinking of you all every day.

Lou xx