Well, we've done it, we made it, we're through it - what you may ask, well the first week without Stewart. It's been hard, there has been tears and laughter and shouting but we have done it together.
We started the day off by going to the Synagogue for the sabbath service, something that will become a regular occurance now the boys say "Kaddish" - the memorial prayer, every day. It was hard because the last time I was there was when we all went with Stewart for New Year. Yes there were tears but we were supported by all the family who came to join us. I cannot express the gratitude to them all.
However, the house is incredibly quiet, no Stewart and no Harley and although you can't compare the two, the house feels empty without the two of them here - it's like a double whammy on the grieving and quiet front. So what do I do yesterday ................................... we got a puppy!
Before anyone asks, he's to replace Harley not Stewart :) but I am hoping that he gives us a reason to continue and to smile and we have something to look forward to daily as opposed to only having something to dwell on.
He is soooooo small, soooooo sweet and is called Boo - why Boo? Well when I met Stewart many many moons ago one of the songs he told me he liked was "Me and You and a Dog Named Boo" - so there may not be the Me and You but there is a dog named Boo in this house :)
Admittedly Alex asked if we could call him Stewart!!!!!!!!!!!!!! didn't think that was a good idea at all - can you imagine peoples faces asking them in and if they'd like to see Stewart!
He's been wonderful but it's so funny when he wants your attention because he squeaks, he sounds like sweep off sooty and sweep! As I type this he is playing with one of the toys we bought him yesterday - he is happily shaking and chewing this bright pink monkey - he hasn't bitten it on the squeaky bit yet - that will be funny to see. Yes I am cleaning up the accidents but cos he is so small they are only little so I can cope. He is so inquisitive and funny that although my heart is still so very heavy, I can smile a little and now I have something to cuddle and kiss again.