Thursday, 9 October 2008

Just a note

to say that today has been so busy. The consultant came again to see us this morning and went over everything with Stewart again. Afterwards we talked privately and he basically said that 2 weeks was probably not possible as Stew had continued to deteriorate and a few days was more likely. Everytime I think we have had the worst news, I am wrong and there is more to come. The kids came and I explained that it is vital they spend as much time with their daddy as they could. Jamie has had a good day with him, and they have managed to talk to each other on and off (well more off as stewart keeps drifting).

The visitors that have managed to make their way here today, especially today on such an important day - the day of atonement which is the highest of holy days - is incredible. Family, friends, some acquaintances and more have been coming throughout the day and I am really exhausted. But one of the most moving moments tonight was our friend Richard sat with Stewart for over 1/2 an hour on his own whilst his wife Debs and I had a drink. I am amazed at his courage and support.

I have also got such respect for my family - all of them - but my brother, sister, brother in law and eldest neice, have been amazing today and David has given me so much support. It's a long story but things haven't always been that good between my sister, brother in law and me - the last year or so has been difficult and about 3 months ago we sorted ourselves out enough to be a family again. However this situation has changed the dynamics of everything and close and supportive are two words that do not do justice to what I feel they have been.

Anyway, a short note has gone on and on so I will get myself off to bed - the bed that I wanted - a double bed to share with Stewart!!! Night Night


Rachel Culhane said...

Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
love Rachel C from UKS, British Columbia, Canada.

juniea said...

Oh Suzy, I am so sorry to read that time is slipping away so quickly for you. Make the most of every minute which I know you are. I was reading your blog as this entry came in so feel so awful for you.
Please give Stewart a gentle hug from me even tho you don't know me, you have been on my mind and in my heart all day today.
Love to you all,
June xxx

Nina aka Acidburnrosie said...

losing someone you love is one of the hardest things to do, but remember the good times you have shared over the last twenty years, they will see you the difficult days ahead.

I think you and your children are amazing in how you are all dealing with the imminent loss of Stewart. My thoughts and that of my family are with you and your family....we wish him total peace

Nina (acidburnrosie on UKS)

Eileen said...

Just checking in before I go off for the weekend. I'm so glad you can stay with Stewart - properly, not on a campbed or sitting in a chair. You both need to share these precious moments as much as possible.

Sending hugs and prayers.
Eileen xxx

Mrs Hedgehog said...

Cherish the moments. God bless you all. L and Mr

Claire said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Stewart and your family.

I am sorry to hear that time is running out for you all.

Claire X

Anonymous said...

Suzy, although I don't know you, you and your family are in my prayers. They say that God never sends us more than we can bear, but sometimes it feels like He has overestimated! You are amazing in how you are dealing with all this, and being strong for Stewart and your children. Do let yourself go with someone, though - you are hurting too, and need to be able to lean sometimes. God bless you all.

Silverst170 Aka Tina said...

Enjoy the time you have left
So sorry its shorter than expected.
We are all with you

Sarah said...

Enjoy your last few days as a family as much as you can, cherish every moment.
You have an amazing family around you to help through these tragic times.
I hope and pray everything is as peaceful as can be.
In my thoughts and prayers daily

Take care

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
Sending lots of hugs your way.

Anonymous said...

Although we've never met, I've been following this blog for some time now and feel so much for you all.
It's good to know that you can share these precious days together. Your strength as a family is amazing and testiment to the love you have for each other.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Debbie (UKS)

Susan said...

I cared for a terminally ill relative a couple of years ago and we joked at the time that we should have taken the front door off and put a revolving one on instead - as fast as a visitor left someone else was arriving. It was lovely that so many people cared and wanted to say their goodbyes but also very, very tiring (mentally and physically). Life can really be crap at times :(
Anyway, just wanted you to know I am thinking of you all.xxxx.

Ruth said...

More love and hugs to you all. xx

Anonymous said...

hugs xx

Mum said...

You are all in my thoughts and prayers, with love.

Smileyk said...

I am so sorry that your time is being cut short. We went through this with my BIL 2 years ago and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

hugs to you all

Alison (AliBlack on UKS) said...

Thinking of you all Susy xx

Hysteri-CAL said...

So very sorry to read this update. I will keep you all in my prayers, and pray that god gives you all the strength to get through the coming days.

Love 'n' hugs - Cal xx

GlitteryKatie said...

I don't know what to say- but know that lots of people will be thinking and praying for you, Stewart and your family in the difficult days ahead.

romi said...

Susy - I don't know what to say. I've tried a couple of things in this little box - but don't seem to be able to get it right. Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you.

Vicky xx

snowgoose and kitty cat said...

(saturday 2 pm)susy, whenever,if ever you get to look at this page I'm sending you all my love. You are in my thoughts .
love Gen

Anonymous said...

Susy I know sorry is really not enough to say, You have shown everyone your bravery and your determination NOT to give up and you fought to the end.
I hope sincerely Stewart is now at peace and no longer in any pain.
thinking of you at this very sad time in you life and love always

Juniea (uks) said...

Suzy, I just read on UKS that Stewart has lost his fight. I am so sorry. Atleast he is now free of the pain and suffering and he passed knowing how much you loved him. Hold him dear in your heart forever. My love to you and your incredibly brave family.
June xxx