Well what a week or two it has been. I have had a very very tough time in the run up to the 4 month mark, very emotional and very down but I think that part of that was that we had Gemma's birthday, and a big one at that - she turned 10 which is a huge milestone and one we had to do without daddy. We kept her busy from the moment she woke up to the moment she went to bed the following night, which was the first time she'd had tears about daddy. I think she had a good time with her friends and those who slept over and I must say 6 girls on the floor in the lounge was lovely to see and they behaved impeccably.
The run from there to the 4 month mark was only 3 days and I found it really tough as did the kids but we got through it, but with the snow and everything I still haven't gone to the cemetery. I am going to try and get there whilst I am off work on Monday or Tuesday but as it's half term it might not be easy.
However to avoid the love and roses of Valentines day I opted to go away. Not that we were ever romantic, last year Stew and I went shopping the night before and as a throw away comment I said "hope you've got my card" so as we arrived he steered me towards the fruit and veg and went to buy my card which he then put in the trolley!!!! As he said, he loved me every day and told me so so why should we make a big deal of it. However, the thought of being here with the papers and tv going on and on and on was unthinkable so I booked with my best friend Debra, an overnight stay at Champneys in Leicestershire. We went yesterday morning and have had two wonderful days. Admittedly we were late getting there as we passed a discount outlet centre on the way and the card just happened to drive in and park. It was a lovely couple of hours trying to find an outfit for Debra's special occasion coming up and although she had no luck we did manage to purchase me a lovely outfit, something I just haven't had the head for for the past 6 months or so. We arrived and had a wonderful massage, swam, had a wonderful dinner, a laugh and giggle, some chocolate and a dvd in bed - I only lasted 10 minutes before I was out for the count and snoring away!!! (she said I wasn't too loud much to my relief). Today consisted of a leisurly breakfast, thalasotherapy pool (a wonderful mineral pool with jets), a amazing pedicure and lunch - then we went shopping on the way home too!!!! Well all my spare cash is spent but it was worth it for a lovely couple of days.
On arriving home I was greeted with three roses, a pink one, a cerise one and a red one with a sign saying "please be our valentine" signed all three of the kids. So having got through the weekend with no tears, they came thick and fast, but they were happy tears, as I am so grateful to have my wonderful children with me through this whole thing. What more could a mum want.
So now Jamie has gone to Manchester and is off to Birmingham tomorrow, I hope the weather stays fine for his trip over with friends. As for me, well I am off to bed soon, and tomorrow the kids and I will have a lazy day - no work for me of any sort.