Well, what a day today has been. I thought it was going to be one of those awful days but actually I woke (albeit very late having got up with the boys briefly and then gone back to bed) with a calm feeling over me. I worked this morning (where I got lovely gifts which were totally unexpected), came home and cooked and did the washing, took Gem and I off to the opticians and then came home to wait for the boys. We then did the card opening/present giving which was the most wonderful experience. I had so many cards from family, friends and fellow UKS'ers that I was overwhelmed - I received presents from some that I hardly know but it means so much to me.
Although we had agreed many moons ago that we wouldn't give siblings presents (just the kids) unless it was a big birthday, this year both my brother and sister gave me special presents. It has blown me away but not nearly as much as the kids. Arranged by Jamie they each had written their cards with words that meant so much but Jamie's card had been filled by him with words that mean so much and give me so much strength. He had included a poem that he had written, inspired by one he'd found, that was so moving and had me in tears. He then produced two beautiful pairs of earrings, one set matched the necklace stew gave me and the fact he had organised and sorted it out is wonderful. I cannot put in words how this has made me feel and I hope that Stewart is as proud of our kids as I am, we have certainly done a good job so far and I intend to carry on his good work.
We then went to my BF's for dinner, which was wonderful and her son had made me a card with supergirl on the front. The evening was lovely and she'd even brought me a cake :)
With this and all the text messages and facebook messages I have received I really know how lucky I am to be part of this wonderful local community and the UKS community. To know so many people are thinking of me is amazing.
I have had moments that have been hard today and I have missed the silly texts and phonecalls from Stewart that he would usually make on my birthday, but all in all it hasn't been as bad as i feared. I only hope that next Monday, Stewart's birthday, is as peaceful and calming as this one. In fact I am sure he sent me a present because this afternoon a lovely man called Michael (keep reading it isn't what it seems LOL) knocked on the door offering to take away (for a small cost) the furniture that was piled up outside. It had been upsetting me that it was there because Stew would have removed it and finding someone else to do it was exceptionally hard, the council wouldn't take it cos it had got wet!!!! We were talking and he has offered to be on call for all those little jobs Stew would do like mowing the lawn (cos I don't need a gardener for what we have), taking cars to garages etc. I know I will have to pay him but it is like a weight off my shoulders knowing there is a nice, safe man who can help out if we need him to.
Stewart I miss you so much but I know that you are there watching over me and the kids.