I suppose today is a time when people reflect on the past year, and that is no exception for me.
We have had some good times and some bad times but most importantly, with the help of some wonderful family and friends we have got through it.
We spend last night with dear friends exactly as we did last year. It was quiet but good to be with people who didn't expect me to be the life and the soul of the party and we were able to have more a giggle this year than last.
So what does 2010 have in store for us all? I suppose that is the million dollar question and one you just dont know the answer to. I hope for us all it brings love, laughter, health and happiness but for the kids I also hope it brings some peace.
Jamie, my darling eldest has a huge year ahead of him, with A levels, hopefully starting university (Sheffield) and watching his beloved Leeds United actually do well in the league and possibly the various cups they are involved in. I hope he finds someone to share all this with, someone who cares for him but at only 18 I mostly hope he is able to have fun with life.
Alex, my little boy, who isn't a little boy and is growing up and turning into a man right in front of my eyes. For him I hope he manages to cope with his GCSE's, gets to go to Israel in the summer and has an amazing time and hopefully will start sixth form. I hope his friends stick by him and he is able to make new ones and that he will start to have the life he so wants.
And as for my baby, Gemma, she has so much to look forward to with starting high school in september. I hope during the next few months when they have taster days there, she has a great time, I hope the two girls giving her a hard time at school leave her alone to enjoy the last few months of primary so that her memories are good ones, I hope she lets go of some of the anger about her daddy and starts to progress forward and I hope she copes with her Sats.
As for me, my greatest wish is to get through May, June and July with all the exams in the house without killing any or all of my kids LOL - but I hope that this year I can start to get some order in my life and start to find ways to fill the huge time I sit thinking about Stew. I hope that he carries on being part of my life and walking by my side and letting me know he is still there, I hope that I find time to scrap, time to spend time with my friends and family and generally get through the year - maybe finding some peace in my heart along the way.
For all my family and friends, and those of them with sick relatives and friends, I hope this year is a good one, that those who are unwell get better.
I hope that a cure for Cancer is found, although it will be too late for us there are dear members of our community who need this more than ever. I hope that I can continue to raise money for both Cancer Research and St Gemma's so that they are both there when needed.
Now that I have had a deep and meaningful post, I want to finish with this.
Although I may have been unlucky to have lost my darling husband, I am still the luckiest person alive. I have three wonderful, gorgeous, healthy children, parents that are amazing (even if mum has forgotten I am an adult LOL), an amazing brother, sister, brother in law, sister in law and nieces and the most unbelievable friends - both here in Leeds with me and on UKS - without any of them I wouldn't have made it through the past 12 months and I hope that I can be as good a friend to them as they have been to me. May this year bring peace and happiness to all.